Month: July 2016

“Life’s a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow..don’t worry about what you don’t know..life’s a dance you learn as you go.”  John Michael Montgomery

Dancing is one thing of many in which I do not excel.  For better or worse, my dance partner of almost 44 years doesn’t either!  We are prone to lead when we shouldn’t and follow at the wrong time!  Fortunately, we did have the foresight to turn the dance of our relationship over to God.

We both knew where we wanted to end up, and that was with each other, but neither of us was willing to take the lead and take that first step!  I finally wore Randy down so completely that he broke down and took the lead.

On the Easter Sunday evening, April 2, 1972, he used his exceedingly eloquent tongue to say to me, “Look, I love you, and I want to have children and get married.”  I very quickly replied, “I love you, too, and if you reverse the order of that, you have a deal!”

Later Randy’s mom remarked that he usually asked every girl he dated to marry him, but she was really glad I had been the one to say “yes”.  I’m not sure that was a compliment, but I take some comfort in the fact that I never technically said the word, “yes”.  Randy would argue that all the girls he asked always said “yes”, but he methodically backed out!

Now, almost 44 years later, I can reflect on dancing in a positive way.    “Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.” ( Author unknown)  I like to think we dance with our hearts!

2 Chronicles 15:7  “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”

The hummingbirds are here in full force, and that is always cause for excitement at our house!  We love the small birds, and I like to think they have raised their families here (we think we see descendants every year). They are fueling up now for their long migration south.  They hold special significance for us because Randy’s mom loved them so much, and they were a source of strength for her during her battle with cancer.

The legend is told of a forest fire burning out of control.  All the animals assembled helplessly watching except for the hummingbird who methodically sucked up water in his tiny beak, flew over the fire, and released the teeny bit of water.  The other animals demanded, “What do you think you are doing?”  The hummer replied, “I am doing what I can.”

When I sit on the deck and watch them, I am encouraged to do all I can for as long as I can for as many as I can.  I also feel that reassurance of God whispering in my ear, “Don’t give up on whatever task is before you.”

“Maybe you don’t see any purpose yet, but He isn’t finished making you.”  George MacDonald

Purpose is defined as “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists”.  All of us have a purpose, we just need to seek God’s wisdom in finding it!

Many things must “come together” sometimes in order for God’s purpose for our lives to materialize.  This was certainly the case for us!

Randy had decided to heed God’s call on his life and enroll in Candler, but he needed three things – a job, an apartment and a scholarship!  Good jobs were scarce, apartments were not affordable alone, and scholarships were few and far between.  Within a week, God had secured for him a construction job, led him to a former fraternity brother who needed a roommate, and awarded him a full ride scholarship!!  Still he wrestled with God’s purpose for his life.

Meanwhile, acting on a feeling that wouldn’t let go, I gave up a prime practice teaching position in Athens, took a less desirable one in Atlanta, and moved there with my sorority sisters.  I had no idea why I took such decisive and immediate action, but I know now that God was working on both of us. The three of us girls needed help finding an apartment in Atlanta, so who did we call? Randy.  Sometimes God’s purpose and the way he achieves it in our lives is a little scary!

Randy was working construction, going to school, and needing someone who could type papers.  I was doing my practicum, finishing school, and had the skill to type papers!  Every afternoon, he would drive over to bring his drafts for a paper, visit with us and have dinner!  In God’s time, our relationship and a purpose was born!

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”   Robert Bryne

Proverbs 3:5  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.”

People always ask me the same question, “Did you know Randy was going to be a minister when you married him?”  The answer is “yes” and “no”. I knew he was enrolling in seminary, but I didn’t think he’d stay long.

In 1968, Randy was a political science major with a minor in history at the University of Georgia.  I was there to get a degree in education.  Randy’s dream was to go to law school, and my dream was to teach children.  God had other plans for him.

We met on Lumpkin Street in Athens while I was walking (I had no car), and he was driving by in his mother’s Cutlass convertible.  Yes, I let him give me a ride.  No, I was not waving a twenty dollar bill!!  We didn’t date until four years later..God knew we weren’t ready for that!

If you know Randy longer than two minutes, you will correctly surmise that he is Type A, goal oriented, confident, ADD, a leader, direct, fair, quick tempered, and doesn’t read between the lines.  He has no idea where the lines are!  He’s an extrovert, was an all conference linebacker and center in football, highly involved and voted “most popular” in high school.  He still uses the most popular thing as a weapon every time I point out a flaw in his character!

Even though we weren’t ready early in our relationship to date and certainly not marry, God continued to place us in each other’s lives.  I dated out of Randy’s fraternity and was elected chapter sweetheart.  It was from this honorable position that I could watch with some amazement at the “loves and legends of Randy”.

Randy was the Sergeant at Arms of the fraternity which fit right in with his personality of never backing down from a fight. He was the life of every party, and he also had the reputation of handing out lavalieres to a different girl monthly.

I watched many girls Randy dated come and go through the years.  I was friends with each one, and I always hated to see them go. I double dated with lots of them!  I actually began to feel sorry for the one whom he would marry.  Who knew?

Randy and I did a lot of talking at different functions, and it was at this time that we began to develop a friendship.  Who would have guessed that Randy was dealing with God’s call into the ministry at this time?  No one, especially not me.  I don’t think either of us could have ever guessed that God was preparing us for a different calling – one we could never have imagined!  Everyone is “called” for something – we just need to figure out what that calling is for us!

On this fourth of July weekend, my thoughts turn to all the men and women who have sacrificed so much for this country and our way of life.

Growing up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, there is one person who will forever exemplify true sacrifice.  Mike Bowen was this person.

Mike grew up right outside my hometown and went to my high school. He was two years ahead of me in school, and he was everyone’s hero. All of us girls swooned when he walked by.  Mike was tall, handsome, quiet, and the quarterback of our football team.  He loved his family, farming, football and one girl.

I shall never forget the day he came into Davis’ Jewelry to buy this girl an engagement ring.  I was working there after school, and it was the most exciting day of my life to that point.  He picked out the ring with care and love.  All of us working in the store, wrapped it for him starting with the smallest box we could find and working up to the biggest one we had!

Mike married this girl, and they were looking forward to their life on his farm, but that was not to be.  It was 1966, and Mike was drafted and sent to Viet Nam shortly after their wedding.

I shall always remember the day the dark sedan pulled into downtown and two men in uniforms emerged.  They went into the salon where his wife worked which was two doors down from my grandmother’s shop.  I watched in horror as they led Mike’s new bride weeping uncontrollably from the salon.  Mike was only 20 years old when he was killed.

There are many names and faces we can substitute in this excerpt.  As we celebrate freedom, let’s not ever forget all those who died so we can enjoy it!