Diane Mickler's Blog

“Be glad you had the moment.”  Steve Shagan

These past two weeks have been a time of adjustment, emotion, and reflection for me.  I got a sweet card from a friend with the quote above, and it made me think of all the “moments” which are priceless to me.

Growing up in a small town can have its good points and its bad.  The good is that everybody knows you – the bad is that everybody knows you. This time it was all good.  Without fail, every person who came by to express condolences could recall a sweet “moment” they had with Mama. Perhaps she made her famous macaroni and cheese for their parent’s funeral, perhaps she gave their son or daughter a job in her store, perhaps she sang for their wedding, perhaps she sent a precious card at just the right time, perhaps she visited their home bound parent.  I could name a dozen more “moments” they shared.

A sweet friend wrote me a note about the “moment” that meant so much to her so I will quote her.  “I remember waiting with Ashley (my daughter) and Cooper (her little boy) on the morning of Mason’s (my grandson’s) baptism.  All of the sudden, Cooper looks outside the door and starts running toward the door.  We turn and look outside the lobby window and see Mimi walking toward the door.  Before we can process the lovely sight, we hear Cooper squeal with joy, “Mimi”!!  He kept running toward her to give her the biggest hug with the biggest smile, and her eyes twinkled. These moments in time are sometimes the most magnificent in heart. But I remember thinking, ‘I recognize that joy and that love.’  I knew and know that joy and love, and it is the greatest gift next to the gift of Jesus to us all.”  (Julie)

We have many “moments” to treasure, and it brings much joy to remember them.  In my mind, I would replace Cooper in this story with Mama as she gives the big smile, and Mama with Jesus as He enfolds her with a twinkle in His eye.  This is the best “moment” and one we can all look forward to with great joy and love.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.  Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”  Proverbs 31:25-29

My Mama, Mildred Ashley Drake, left us suddenly on October 6.  She had just had her weekly hair appointment, and looking as beautiful as always, she must have sat down to read her mail.  Peacefully, she entered into the presence of Jesus and all those she loved who have gone before her.  While we are here mourning, she is there rejoicing.

Mama will be remembered for many things, but perhaps the one thing that she shared with so many was her beautiful voice and her love of music.  She sang for weddings, funerals, our troops at USO shows, church services, lullabies to her children and grands, Christmas cantatas, nursing homes, and community gatherings just to mention a few.  She blessed us by singing for two of her grand daughter’s weddings!  She loved sharing her God given talent.

She loved playing bridge (if she was high), writing, her friends, the Lawrence Welk show, singing in the church choir, UGA football, the Braves, folks in her hometown, the lake, water skiing, snow skiing, the beach, her home, and her extended family. She did a crossword puzzle every day, slalomed for the last time when she was 74 and para sailed for the first time when she was 75!!  She was adventurous, independent, and smart.  An exceptional business woman, she managed my Daddy’s affairs all their married life although many did not know about the woman behind the man.

She was a natural caregiver.  She cared for her Mama and Daddy, her brother, and my Daddy until each of them passed away.

Most of all, she loved her husband, her girls, her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren.  The best times were when we were all together.  We celebrated her 85th birthday on Lake Oconee where she rode in the boat and watched the children ski and tube while giving pointers.

Without exception, everyone loved her and refers to her as the sweetest woman they have ever known.  I think her friend, Anne, said it best when she said, “Your Mama had the gift of love.  She gave it, and she has passed it along to you three girls. Now, it’s up to you to pass it along to your family and others.”  I pray we will live up to the legacy she has left to us.

We will miss our Mama, Mimi, Mi, and Dump, but we are all better people because she was such a huge part of our lives.

“Now your burden’s lifted and carried far away,                                              And precious blood has washed away the stain.                                              So sing to Jesus, sing to Jesus, sing to Jesus and live.”                                    An excerpt from the song, “Come to Jesus”  Lyrics by Chris Rice

“For in Him dweleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.  And ye are complete in Him.”  Colossians 2:10  KJV

Our year in Snellville afforded us the opportunity to get Randy through seminary, get our feet wet in ministry, and feel God working to bring a sense of completeness to the call to the ministry.

Randy was very fortunate to have a professor, advisor, and friend all in the person of Bob Gary.  God used Bob to see things in Randy that neither of us could see or detect – things he needed to rectify in regard to his view of Christianity and the world.  It was with only two quarters to go until graduation, that Bob told Randy he was going to recommend an additional clinical quarter for him.  This was met with some resistance and a little anger on Randy’s part as it meant spending much time at Emory hospital ministering to patients on two very serious wards.  Randy objected; Bob insisted; Bob won and that was that!

It was with a great deal of reluctance that Randy began his duties as chaplain. He served on the cancer floor of Emory.  He was drawn almost immediately to a young athlete named Phil, who was battling brain cancer.  They connected as they talked of football, sports, faith, life, death, and the resurrection. They developed a tight bond and a sweet friendship. At night, I would hear stories of Phil and what a great guy he was! I also heard of his suffering, pain, and positive attitude. It was such a sad situation, but Randy was confident that God was at work in Phil’s life.

We left town  one weekend to attend the funeral of Randy’s aunt.  While we were gone, Phil died quietly.  Randy was beside himself with anger and confusion.  How could God let this happen?  He felt he had let his friend, Phil, down by not being with him.

It was at this point that Bob stepped in to help Randy see the things that he had seen all along.  He said, “Randy, your idea of the Christian faith was lacking and very idealistic.  You saw only the resurrection without the reality of the cross.   There would be no resurrection, no celebration, without the cross. The cross opened the way for us to see Jesus face to face.”

God used precious people to help complete us in the love of Jesus.

“Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established.”  Proverbs 16:3

Randy began to build up the youth program at the church in Snellville with the help of an awesome core group of young people.  They were so faithful, and it wasn’t long until it was growing exponentially. We promised them a weekend retreat as soon as we reached the number goal that they had set for themselves as an incentive.

The goal was reached sooner than expected, and we had to scramble to find a place for our reward retreat.  Randy (the great researcher and planner), found a camp somewhere in South Carolina. We all trusted that arrangements had been made in advance, and we were good to go.  On that fateful Friday afternoon, we boarded our bus and headed out with much enthusiasm and excitement.  One of the parents drove the bus for us.

There was no GPS at this point, and we drove for hours through country roads in the growing darkness.  When we finally reached the camp, it was pitch dark.  Randy got out and walked to the gate which was not only closed, but locked securely. As he walked back to the bus with a sullen expression, the mood inside went from excitement to complete silence. He announced our predicament with complete honesty mixed with disappointment and regret saying that there must have been a mix up with dates.  Duh!!??

I’m thinking, what do we do now with a bus of teenagers and no place to go?? At that very moment, I heard Randy say:  “You guys have worked hard for this, and you deserve a retreat, so let’s all go back to the “old” parsonage and spend the weekend there”!!  I sat in horror as the bus erupted in cheers!  My mind is now on fast forward wondering how on earth we could ever pull this off?

However, that’s exactly what we did!  After calling every parent and getting permission, the two of us and all the youth set up a retreat in our parsonage. They all had their sleeping bags, so we set up girls in the back of the house, boys in the front, with Randy and Chief sleeping in between!! They would have to step over them to cross that line, and nobody was brave enough to try that!  It was very early the next morning when all were bedded down.

Saturday, we started Camp Mickler.  We grilled hot dogs, s’mores, hamburgers, made sandwiches, planned our programs, did Bible studies and played every outside and board game known to man!!  We had an absolute ball!!  Parents came and went all weekend with supplies.  I think they all secretly wanted to included.

The youth were ecstatic with the whole weekend and wanted to make it a monthly thing!! When word got out in the community, we doubled our youth attendance!  Everyone wanted to be a part of the group that took such exciting adventures!! God’s plans don’t always go the way we are expecting!!

God established the plans, and as a group, we committed our way to Him.

“Do you hear what these are saying?’  And  Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, ‘Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast brought perfect praise’?”   Matthew 21:16

Our grandson, Reese, is five years old and started Kindergarten this year. The old ideas that Kindergarten is all play and no work is definitely a misnomer.  Standards are much higher these days, and there is much expected of a child at this stage. God bless the teachers!

There is a list of words called Dolch sight words which a child should be able to recognize by sight by the end of each grade level.  These are words which can’t be “sounded out” and thus must be memorized.  Reese is on his first 20 sight words.  He isn’t a fan of homework, so it has been a little tough on his Mama and on him to get these committed to memory.

Reese informed his Mama as they sat down to study, that he already knew all his sight words!  Amazed, she asked him how this happened? He replied, “Well, Jesus tells them to me!”  She expressed how wonderful it is that Jesus talks to him and insisted that he show her how well he could recall the words.  Reese missed a few of the words.  “I thought you knew all these,”  said his Mama.  “Well,” said Reese, “Jesus hasn’t been talking to me lately.”

That story made me laugh, and then it caused me to realize that lately Jesus hasn’t been talking to me much either. Then, it occurred to me that I am guilty of not opening conversation lines between us.  I could probably hear Him if I would take the time to listen. As Cindi Fain says,  I need to sit still and just let “Jesus love on me”.

From the mouth of babes comes a perfect lesson for me.

“The point is this;  he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.  Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  2 Corinthians 9:6-7

Randy and I both grew up Methodists, and so we had heard the word, “tithe”.  I am fairly sure my parents participated in that, but growing up, I only knew that Daddy would give me $1.00 each week to put in the offering plate.  Therefore, I had to research the 10% thing when Randy casually brought it up shortly after our move to Snellville.

The word “tithe” literally means “tenth”.  This process was handed down from the law of Moses when the Israelites were required to give 10% of flocks, crops, etc. to the Tabernacle.

At this point in our lives, money was very tight, and I had a real problem giving 10% of our meager salary to the church.  I say this with embarrassment and shame, but it was true.  Our combined monthly salary was somewhere around $700 a month!!  If we gave 10% of that to the church, I calculate that to be $70 a month.  In 1973, $70 would buy a lot of peanut butter and jelly!!  Actually, this was net income, and Randy insisted it should be gross which raised us to $80 a month tithe and offerings.

The two of us were not the best at financial planning at this point, so life in the Mickler household went from feast on the first of the month to famine on the last days of the month.  As the collection plate came around on the first two Sundays of the month, I reluctantly placed my $20 check in.  However, the last two Sundays of the month, I found myself wanting to grab a $20 bill out of the plate instead of putting my check in!!  A cheerful giver I was not!!

I challenged the Lord to live up to His promise that we can “never out give Him”.  He did.  There with so many unexpected blessings – a lunch invitation here, a bag of home grown vegetables there, a tutoring job, and so much more. We always made up for that $80 a month and usually more.

Fast forward 43 years later, and I find myself in a totally different place.  I can never monetarily repay God for all his blessings, but I never intentionally cheat Him of his tenth and his offerings.  I’ve learned to take God at His word, and His tenth is the first thing I cheerfully give.

“They who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”  Isaiah 40 30-31

Last week, we lost my Daddy’s last surviving sibling, my uncle  Wallace (Bubba).   He had been failing, and so it came as a blessing for him.  It was hard on his wife, Joanne and his immediate family of 18!

We will greatly miss Bubba, his kindness, his laughter and his loving ways.  He was the father of three, in law of three, Papa to 12, and great grandpapa to 8.  Wow!  He and Joanne have been married 66 years.

Joanne has played the organ for the church in my home town for 60+ years.  She has also been the choir director.  She played at my wedding and Bubba sang.  She also played at my daughter’s wedding while my Mama sang.  She and Mama have been a team for quite a while!  She taught me to play the organ (as much as possible), she taught me to knit, and she was my high school choir director.  We have a bond.

Joanne is also failing and confined to a hospital bed most of the time as well.  I visited with her on Thursday, and although I always knew she was a woman of deep faith, I saw first hand the strength of God in her.  She teared up when I kissed her, and spoke softly.  She recalled memories of her visits with Randy and me, and we laughed over good times when she and I played piano and organ duets in church.  She was ministering to me.  What strength!

The next morning, she insisted on dressing and going to say her good bye to her precious husband.  With strength beyond measure, she did just that! When she got home, she announced that she would also be going to the funeral on a gurney, if necessary.  No argument!!   She did just that!

Such love and devotion between husband and wife is hard to find these days.  I marvel at her strength, at her love of family, and at her love and devotion to God.  She showed me that strength is renewed each day if we wait upon the Lord.

“Nothing is as strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”  St. Francis de Sales

“Thy hand shall lead me and they right hand shall hold me”  Psalm 139:10

In the spring of 1973, Randy came home one afternoon and announced that he had applied for the job of youth minister at Snellville UMC.  WHAT?  He interviewed the next week, and the minister hired him on the spot! Randy was so excited, but I was having a small breakdown!  While he was telling me all the things we could do there, I was thinking of all the things I had to change.

Judd Hodges was the minister at the church at the time. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, he and his wife, Betty were God sent to lead us into our ministry. Judd was a mountain of a man with a quick wit and hearty laugh. He volunteered with the Sheriff’s department in his spare time helping on sensitive cases, he hunted, and rode a motorcycle! Just the type of minister with whom Randy could identify.  He and Randy bonded tightly and immediately.

Judd wanted Randy and me to live in the community and offered us a vacant house next to his parsonage. Both houses were next to the church. This house was affectionately referred to as “the old parsonage.” Those words should conjure up panic!  Randy was certain that everything was going to be perfect! God would lead us.  Did I mention I was having a breakdown?

There was only one small problem – I had to have a job!  This issue was a deal breaker.  Judd went to work to find an answer.  Coincidentally, Gwinnett county was building a new elementary school right down the road from the church in the community of Centerville.  As God would have it, the new principal of the school was a member of the Snellville church.

Judd set up a meeting for me.  I interviewed with Mr. Powell, the new principal, and very quickly, I secured a fourth grade position.  Shortly after the interview, I saw Mr. Powell and inquired about how quickly the hiring process had progressed.  He laughed and said, “Honey, Judd Hodges wants you two here, and I don’t ever disappoint Judd!”  “By the way,” he said in passing, “your portfolio was impressive as well.”  I was so glad to know I had impressed him!

In June, we loaded up our few possessions, ratty furniture, and Chief, and moved to Snellville and into our first “parsonage”.  Thankfully God was leading and all we had to do was follow.  This was the first step in letting God lead me and hold me.

Just a footnote – looking at the picture, I think we invented the “selfie”.

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong.  Someday in your life, you will have been all of these.”  George Washington Carver

I graduated from UGA in the spring of 1972 with a BS in Education.  I felt fully prepared to teach any child with the expertise I had acquired.  I was so wrong!!

My first assignment was a fourth grade class at Terry Mill Elementary school in Decatur.  I quickly realized that my training had targeted the “average” child, and these children, through no fault of their own, were as far from average as it gets.

Most of the children came from broken homes.  Many had no parental presence most of the time.  They had witnessed gangs, drugs, robbery, abuse, and murder!  I was at a loss as to how to identify!  Nothing in my training had prepared me for this, and none of the strategies seemed to be working.  Nothing could win them over.  I felt like a total failure as a teacher and a person.

One morning as I was driving to school listening to the radio, I heard a familiar last name connected to a stabbing death that had taken place in the school area.  I knew immediately that it had to be a family member of one of my students.  I had no idea what to do – so I prayed for the answer.

As the class arrived that day, they  were markedly sad, quiet, but quickly confirmed that the victim was their classmate, Nancy’s, brother.  This was devastating to me, and I couldn’t imagine what they must be feeling.

I wasn’t expecting Nancy that day, and I was selfishly relieved,  but she came in late.  When she walked in with a tear stained face, I said nothing but only walked to her with my arms open wide.  She walked into my arms, and we cried together.  When I looked up, all the students were around us crying as well.  Compassion in the face of tragedy.  It bonded us as a class that year when nothing else would.  God answered my prayer in a most miraculous fashion!

“His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning.”  Lam. 3:22-23